WELL, WHAT IS IT?

 

THE LENS is a film production I began 15 years ago while I was admitted to the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario for a manic episode, resulting in a bipolar disorder diagnosis.  I believed my rapidly shifting mindsets were happening for a reason:  to experience the pain, depression, psychosis, lunacy, and straight up insanity that goes along with bipolar.  To explore it.  To document and search for answers.  To ultimately turn my experiences into a production.  15 years later, the new production is underway.

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED?

 

Either we ARE our minds or our minds are a tool which we possess, thus being separate from our mind.  Trying to boil down all of the thoughts that come with this is quite hard.  Here's a quick pick:

 

1.  We have the power to transform our minds by stepping back and treating our mind like a tool.  Being good to it but not letting it take advantage of us.

 

2.  Psychiatry is great for immediate action response but it can be damaging on many levels.  Our "identity" is much more important than I once realized.  Being labeled with a disorder can in itself create great damage.  The power of a diagnosis surrounding your psychological mindset (AKA your mind) can heavily alter it's perception of reality.  

 

3.   It is absolutely possible to treat expanding your comfort zone like an exercise and build strength.  Fighting through intense fear was nearly impossible.  The reality of how dark things were is too much to even remember correctly.

 

4.  We have the right to decide meaning for ourselves.  If I believe I'm going through something for a reason, then that's what I'll do.  I started believing that all of this was for a reason but quickly reverted to the illness theory and considered all "grandiose ideas" to be false.  I felt brainwashed.

 

5.  Love and belief in a higher power is undeniably important.  We need to align with a positive collective consciousness.  We must exert positive energy and be content in the present moment.  Endless desire for more will only create endless suffering.

 

6.  It is totally possible to turn intense negativity into much more powerful positivity.  Don't be afraid of the negativity.  Dive into it and use it.  It doesn't know what it's doing.  It's up to you to see the bigger picture, learn from it, and ultimately use it for good.